Mom is here...
It's offical now mom is here at the beach everyday in way...
Where she loved to be...
Now she is resting in peace.
Mom loved the beach, and the big ship's they were her favorite part of the season, and it made
her the happiest, when she could go see the tall ship festival.
funny, how it is now the end of her 5th month and they found her a resting place, for her...
Some people need more time to deal with that I guess.
I guess it was a act of kindness, for them to ask me if I wanted to come along.
but as for now I can not see my self feeling comfortable enough to be around them
even for a mintue, let alone
A whole afternoon or whatever like nothing ever happened...?
It's not like oh, well I'm sorry for stepping on your toes' or infact there was no appology at all
So I know, not to hold my breath I would passd out first.
They must some gall to ask me, if I would want to spend that time with them...
So yes, I'm thinking negativly and I'm still very bitterly angry with both of them
for different reasons...yes, but it's my deal nobody else's ...
I could not justify being with them
it's true we are blood, but even blood relatives don't always think the same way...
If mom was here what would she say,to us... "okay you guy's, knock it off, and get over it...
True, but were stubborn and we are her daughters... she was the same way with her sisters...
I'm not exspecting anything from neither of them, and I know they don't exspect anything from me...
So let's keep simple and civil...
well, now the thing is I'm feeling a bitt better at this part of my life I'm feeling sad at different times the
Grief burts...as they say, I also have many feelings and memorys of mom on the anniversary date, of each passing month...I have memories of what we were doing last year at the beach...
some day's are hard to go get coffee, and i'm just thinking of her so much it hurt's...
Do I feel bad not including "The manipulater"at that picnic a little, because we did not want to see her there, because she was being herself not truly caring about anything but me,.me.
anytime we told her something...
We wanted a day for mom to feel good, I guess mom would have like her there,too but that did not work for us, So no going back...that is in the past we have so many.. What If'... and If I could only?
Go through your mind and so I know that is pure torture,thereis no going back I did all I could do and what mom was willing to do and it was it was all and the body could not do anymore, fighting till the end
She gave it her all that is for damn sure...
I love you mom and miss you very much...
a beauty
the sunrise
The Lady on the Beach, makes me think off mom
