Upon The Seaside

Upon the seaside; Is a place where mom longed to be... no doubt this would have been a place of
where she would have wanted to go and live.
This picture captures for me a detail visual of what I think mom would have wanted if she could have
had...
I see this, and it seems very nice here, and simple, and free clean and airy, that is what mom like, and enjoyed.
Just a little something to find herself in peace, and she would often paint places like this...
So in my memory this is where I hope she will live in something like this, when she comes back to us.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart,and you shall see that in the truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight...by Kahlil Gibran

Somethings to keep in mind...Grief can affect your mind and body.
Grief is about more then feelings-it will also show up in how you think.You may disbelieve this person actually died. You may have episodes of thinking like this evenlong after they died. your mind may be confused your thinking muddled you may find difficult to concentrate on just about everything. Or you may be able to focus on is the one who died,or how they died, or your life together before they died.
Physical responses are also to be expected. you may experience tightness in your throat, heaviness across your chest, or pain around your heart. Your stomach maybe upset along with intestinal disturbances....

 You may have headaches,hot flashes,or cold chills. you may be dizzy at times,or tremble more then usual or find yourself easily startled. somepeople find it hard to get their breath...

You may undergo changes in your behavior. You may sleep less then you used to and wake up at odd hours. Or you may sleep more then normal. You may have become unusually restless. You may have odd dreams or frighting nightmares....

 You may move from one activity to another, sometimes not finishing one thing before you moving on to the next. Or you may sit and do nothing for long periods...

Some people engage in what is called "searching behavior" - you look for your loved one face in a crowd of people, for instance, even though you know they've died....You may become attached to things you associate with your loved one, like wearing article of their clothing or a keepsake that belonged to them.
Or you may wish to avoid all such reminders....

A time of gradual reawakening eventually occurs, though you can't always predict when...
Energy begins to return. So does hope....
 Finally there comes a time renewed life....
 Your're not the same person, you were before- you 'll be different, having been changed by this experience, having grown....

 You'll forge a new relationship with the one who died, and relationship that transcends time.
This entire process may not be very orderly... these time period will flow and into one another almost imperceptibly. But when  you look back, you'll recongnize what's happened...By going all the way through your grief, you've taken the path toward your healing.

Upon the seaside, is where she will be... sitting there and smiling back at me, and rocking away on the chair on the porch, and sewing something,with her keen eyesight to her liking, and a lovable dog at her feet, will notice me, and she will be glad to know... I'm here and we made it here together, through the roughest sea's....Even though death blocked our bond for a little while, the path of which we finally arrived at this with no surprise, we are in paradise...
my hope, my dream, my future.... writen by me...